1 year ago tomorrow...

3/8/08 My wedding day! We had a Papaw/ granddaughter dance and I sang in his ear as we danced to the Judd's "grandpa"

Papaw in the 70's

Mid 80's at a ranch in TX

My high school graduation day!

1986 at the KOA that he and Nana owned in Fredericksburg TX

1989 fishing in MI

1 year ago tomorrow my Papaw went to be with the Lord. In the midst of our pain my mother and I deemed July 27th to be the worst day ever. We ached and cried out for our loving patriarch. I can remember the wee hours of July 27th like they were yesterday. We told Nana to go get some sleep in the guest room, and I laid in my grandparents bed with my mom and dad, as we all stared at Papaw. He was laying in his hospital bed, thin under his sheet and pale. Around 4 or 5 am I couldn't handle listening to his breathing any longer and I moved to the couch. Not even 30 seconds later, he was gone. I remember praying for the Lord to take him, take his pain away. And then all I could do was pray for him to bring him back! I wanted my Papaw back here with me!!! And I still do. I wish he was here with us and that he could see Madison (who is named after him) and that he could see what an amazing little girl Bethany is growing into. But then I realize that he knows Madison, because he got to meet her in heaven before she came to live with us!

Last night I read a book called Heaven is For Real by Todd Burpo. It is an amazing account of a little boy who became very ill and got to see what heaven is like. This book gave me amazing clarity and peace that my Papaw is doing just fine. And the little boy said that nobody is old in heaven, which is awesome because ladies let me tell you when my Papaw was younger he was a hottie.

Something amazing happened for our family on July 26th. The day before Papaw passed away we were all there. My Parents, Nana, Uncle Carl, and Carli. We sat in Nana and Papaw's bedroom and sang worship songs with our amazing friends Karen and Cody Greathouse. Cody prayed over Papaw, and then the most amazing thing happened. Mom was in the kitchen, and I was on the bed. Papaw sat up all on his own (something he hadn't done in weeks) and shouted "Kimberle, RyRy Come on, let's go." I asked him where we were going and he didn't anwser. Mom asked him if we were going to a horse show and he said yeah that's right. I will never forget watching my Papaw's soul leave his body. At that moment he left his earthly body and went to the big horse show in the sky. He layed back down and didn't speak or move again. He was in a kind of catatonic state, he heart was still beating, but he was gone.

I am not writing this to make my Mom sad, and I know she will cry when she reads this. I am writing this for myself. It has been said that I haven't dealt with his death. And in a way that is true. But I think because of the amazing event that happened when I held his hand, I know that he is in heaven. I celebrate his life and the amazing grandfather that we was to me. I wish he could be here for me today and play with my girls, but I know he is up in heaven and there are many children there who could use a Papaw to play with.

I miss him so so so much, and I joked that he picked Madi out in the baby factory in heaven. But in all seriousness the Lord sent Madison to me, to our family, at the perfect time. I was expecting when Papaw passed but didn't know it. The Lord takeith and the Lord giveith.

For anyone struggling with a loss please take a couple hours and read Heaven Is For Real, it is amazing!