Light in a dark place?

I have heard the phrase it is easy to be a light in a dark place thousands of times. Friends and family would tell me this a lot when I was working. It wasn't until recently that I realized what an opportunity I missed in the work place. I graduated from college and went to work in sales. I was really good at my job, and it wasn't until I was about 2 years into the career that I began dreading the workplace. I loved the competition, the friendly rivalrys, and even the customers (on most days...). As time went on and the promotions didn't come like I thought they should I got annoyed. I worked insanely long hours for little return and even less appreciation from the customers who came in each day. I became jaded about my job, I would make jokes to hide how disappointed I was with the outcome of what started out seeming very promising.The biggest thing that I regret is that I would fall prey to the majority. Meaning I would get in on the jokes and the general absurdity that happened each day at work. I kept my faith to myself, for the most part. The Lord gave me so many opportunities to share it with my coworkers and I chose not to. Dangit! To any of my former coworkers that might be reading this, I am sorry. I wish I could have told you how amazing my Lord is every day. I wish I would have shown you how to love customers, instead I would usually choose a worldly response, making fun of them as a defense mechanism because of the way they treated us. (Which was usually like dirt)

I had lunch with a new friend yesterday, and she was sharing with me how excited she is everyday to be a stay at home mom. She calls it her ministry! What an amazing outlook! We are not just here to clean dirty diapers and fold laundry. We are here to show our family Christ love thru our daily walk and routines. So today I am going to really focus in on that! I want to show Christ love to everyone I come in contact with, smiles and a helping hand. Showing grace to my children when they drive me crazy, praying daily for patience, and staying in the word, not the work! I so wish I would have had this type of outlook when I worked at Enterprise. If I would have taken each day and focused in on my ministry thru sales I could have reached so many people. I know that I had some amazing conversations with some customers, and I did share the gospel with some of them....but it should have been more. Thank the good Lord for his grace, because even though I missed some opportunities, he forgives! 

Here are some lyrics to a song that sparked this blog,

Steven Curtis Chapman's Do Everything:

Your picking up toys on the living room floor for the 15th time today

Matching up socks
Sweeping up lost cheerios that got away


You put a baby on your hip
Color on your lips and head out the door

While I may not know you,
I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes, does it matter at all?

Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long
As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you,
Cause he made you,
To do
Every little thing that you do
To bring a smile to His face
Tell the story of grace


With every move that you make
And every little thing you do

Maybe your that guy with the suit and tie
Maybe your shirt says your name
You may be hooking up mergers
Cooking up burgers
But at the end of the day


Little stuff
Big stuff
In between stuff


God sees it all the same
While I may not know you
I bet I know you
Wonder sometimes, does it matter at all?

Well let me remind you, it all matters just as long
As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you,
Cause he made you
To do
Every little thing that you do
To bring a smile to His face
Tell the story of grace


With every move that you make
And every thing you do
Maybe your sitting in math class
Or maybe on a mission in the Congo
Or maybe your working at the office
Singing along with the radio


Maybe your dining at a 5-star
Or feeding orphans in the...
Anywhere and everywhere that you are


Whatever you do
It all matters
So do what you do
Don't ever forget
To do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you,
Cause He made you
To do
Every little thing that you do
To bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace

As you do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you,
Cause he made you
To do
Every little thing that you do
To bring a smile to His face
And tell the story of grace

First Grader!

Seems like just a few days ago she was wearing size 2T and giant sunglasses!

Now she is my beautiful first grader! <3 you so much Bethany Brooke! Can't wait for you to get home and tell me all about it!

As I walked away from dropping her off I got a little teary eyed....not nearly as bad as the sob fest that was last year. She was of course so pumped for first grade she could hardly stand it! I talked to her this morning about what to do if there was another earthquake, I told her to pray and ask Jesus for a big Jesus hug if she got scared. She said, "He's right here with us Mom, we're good"


Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
 1 Timothy 4:12



Bucha Comes to visit!

Kisses!!

She has the magic touch at nap time!!

I know what you're thinking, what is a Bucha?! Bucha is what my best friend's nieces and nephews call her, and it is also what my kiddos will call her. Bucha is my bestest friend and she came to visit!! I was so happy that she was able to make it for a weekend visit! Rachel and I have been friends for pretty much our entire lives...I'm thinking it was around 4th or 5th grade when we started hanging out. She was my maid of honor, and I just love our friendship. We are the type of friends that can go weeks without talking and fall right back to normal without skipping a beat. We are finally out of the crazy time of life where we don't get to talk everyday because she graduated from St. Mary's Law School this summer and just took the bar exam! She starts her big fancy attorney gig in a month and before starting that job she came to see us! It was so so so great to get some real girl time. She is such an amazing woman and we had some conversations that were very different from any we have had before. It was so nice to take a few days to hang out and get to know each other as grown ups....if you want to call us that. It was great to bounce ideas off of each other about what we see God's plan for marriage looking like in our lives (she is engaged to an amazing dude who also graduated this year from St Mary's Law), and of course nobody has as much fun people watching as we do!! It was a great time of rejuvenation for me, and I loved watching her with my kids. She is the best Bucha ever!

1st Grade?!

1 week from today Bethany starts first grade! WHAT?! I cannot believe she is already going back to school, and that it is already time for first grade. This means real homework, sitting at her own desk, more responsibility! I still remember Mrs. Lander's first grade class, and it was intimidating....I pray that Bethany gets a teacher who is more into fun than my first grade teacher.

We have been making the rounds to all of the get you ready appointments. Doctor, Dentist, and the all important trip to the Salon. Now that she is in first grade I decided I would treat her to her first official salon haircut (she usually gets her hair trimmed at super cuts with daddy). She is obsessed with it, and looks so beautiful and grown up. They cut about 1.5 inches off and took a little of the bulk out of the back. Those of you who know B, know that the kid has more hair than anyone needs!! Here are her before and afters!

The night before, she was helping baby sis in the Jenny Jump Up!

After! Look out first grade!!! HERE SHE COMES!

Good luck to my little bumble B! Love you!

Letters to my girls.

Dear Madison,

My sweet little love bug. You are almost 5 months old and not a day goes by I don't thank God for giving you to me. I love the faces you make. I love when you finish nursing and fall asleep you make this little pouty face when I move you to my shoulder. I miss the cute face you used to make when I took you out of your car seat. I love your crazy hair and that it is now long enough to get in your eyes. I love that you sleep in the same position as me and your daddy. I love watching the joy on your face when you see me for the first time in the morning. I love the way you smile at your sister. I love the way you gum your rice cereal and how you don't really know if you like it but want to keep eating it. You are obsessed with standing. I can't take my eyes off of you, not because you're mischievous (even though you are) but because you are amazing. I love watching you play with your toys and listening to you 'talk'. You can pretty much operate my iPhone. (yes I am serious, the kid knows how to play the baby ap. already) I love that you are a ham for the camera just like your sister. I know you're getting close to crawling and that terrifies me. I am not ready for you to sleep in your own room. I love that you hate formula. I love the way you look at your Daddy, like he is the most amazing person in the whole world (because he totally is!) I love the way you chew on your binkies and that you are only into them when it's time to sleep. I love that you still fit into some newborn  and 0-3 month clothes and that you are still in size 1 diapers. I am so glad you are tiny mainly because it makes me feel like you're going to be my little bug even longer. I can't even begin to imagine all of the ways you are going to surprise me, make me proud, challenge me, and succeed in life! Thank you for being my little love bug!

Love, Mommy

Dear Bethany,

While I write this you are in trouble. Yep again. You are such a little spitfire. You challenge me every day. In a way I am glad you are such a spitfire, because I know it means you will be strong willed as an adult. But when all I want is for you to do is what I ask I wish you weren't. You are almost 6 and a half. You are wearing size 8 clothes and have more hair on your head than I have ever dreamed of having. You are in a hurry to grow up most of the time, and then sometimes you surprise me and want to cuddle and be my little girl again. You keep me and Daddy on our toes constantly, and sometimes you make us crazy. You are a very loving little girl. You always want hugs and kisses and never forget to tell us how much you love us. When you were very little I started the do you know how much I love you game, and you have never forgotten...but you still don't really get it. This morning I told you I love you more than the moon and the stars....you told me you loved more than the coffee maker but hey Ill take it (we do have a really nice coffee maker) I remember the first time I met you, you were 18 months old. Daddy had picked you up for the weekend and we were in the tiny apartment that Daddy lived in with Uncle Jeffy in Killeen. You were so funny and so sweet. You kept hiding in the cupboard that was supposed to be for dirty laundry (the boys didn't use it, but that was what it was for, it had a little opening at the top that you could drop stuff into and then you could open the door at the bottom to get it out.) I was so nervous. I had never been around a baby before, and I was getting even more nervous because I was in love with a man who came with one. We quickly adapted and became a family. And even though you are not my blood you are my baby. I love you more than the moon and the stars and I never ever want you to forget that. I love the way you sing, and 'play' your guitar. I love how curious you are. I love your sense of humor and when you try to be sarcastic. I love that you want to be just like me, and that terrifies me too. I wish you would be less picky about your food. I love that you love God. I love that you never stop asking about Him. I love that you want to know more about having Jesus in your heart. I am sorry I lose my temper. I don't care what you say you are not ready for training bra. I can't believe you are starting first grade next week! Thank you for being you!

Love,
Mama

Oregon 2008

 2007

Before Texas State Homecoming 2007

Last week, playing with the boys on the playground

Summer Dresses!

pretty girls, matching dresses

June 2011- photo by Judson Baker

June 2011, photo by Judson Baker

April 2011 in the park

Baptism round 2!

For those of you who didn't read my childhood and churches post (please go read it after you finish this one...) I was raised Catholic, went to Catholic school, and accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour in 7th Grade at Horseman for Christ camp. Since I was raised Catholic I was baptized as an infant. This was a beautiful day for my family when I was a baby, and I understand why people choose to baptize their babies. Justin and I plan on dedicating our children at the next opportunity our church offers but we will be waiting for them to make the decision for their baptisms after they accept Jesus.

I started reading the book of Acts this week before the kiddos wake up in the mornings, and it was kind of random that I chose to start that study in the first place. I literally woke up Monday morning and decided that I would read it... so I woke up each morning before the girls, read in Acts, and journaled about what I was reading. I was reading about all of the baptisms in Acts which all take place after the person accepts Christ. Now being that I was raised Catholic and have already been baptized, I have given this a lot of thought throughout the years. I have felt for a long time that I needed to be baptized again because it is what the bible tells us to do (get baptized after accepting Christ). The issue I had with it was that I have been a Christian for 13 years already, and it is usually something people do right after they accept Christ. I don't really know why this was such an issue for me, but it was and as the years went by it only got worse. I knew that I would eventually do it again, but hadn't really sought out the opportunity. Well the Lord smacked me in the face with that opportunity this morning.

Our church had a spontaneous baptism! Yep we got to church this morning, checked in the kids, and settled in for worship. Pastor Daniel got up, talked about all of the baptisms in Acts (again the Lord smacking me in the face with it...since I had been studying this all week!) and let us know that the opportunity was open to everyone there, they would baptize people all day if necessary. I was pretty excited and nervous and knew that I was supposed to do it! They provided a change of clothes and everything we would need after being dunked so we didn't have any excuse for not being prepared. I went out of the service with the other people, changed clothes, went outside and publicly professed my faith! 132 people were baptized this morning between the 2 services!! Amazing! The best part of it was I watched several of my friends get baptized this morning, friends who have also been Christians for a long time. I was very proud to 'take the plunge' with them!

I chose to be baptized again this morning because it is what we are instructed to do, and in order to be obedient to the Lord we need to do as we're told! I am thankful that my parent's had me baptized as a baby because it set me on a track to a personal relationship with the Lord. Their encouragement and support of my faith has been amazing, and I am so excited to say that I have been restored, made new, washed clean by the blood of Jesus Christ, and was baptized (again, finally) this morning! Thank you Lifepoint Church for all you do, I am thrilled to be a part of the mission to reach people far from God!

I survived mom's night out!

Last night was my first night out since July of 2010! I am a very social person and I have always had girlfriends and girls' nights and things like that. So when I got pregnant and moved to VA that all pretty much stopped. Now that Madi is here I am at her beckon call 24-7. As a breastfeeding mother who hates her pump with a capitol H, I don't get much freedom, and it is by choice. So last night a dear friend was hosting a Tupperware party in northern VA....yes that's right my first night of freedom in over a year and I was at a Tupperware party. Go ahead say it....so suburban right? But the ladies in attendance are some of my favorite people on the planet and even though we are suburban we are still awesome! I worried and stressed that I would not have enough milk for the baby, and she had never had formula before Monday. So I decided I would do my best to get what I could for her with the mother's torture device and if she was still hungry she could have a little of the fancy formula. So that's what we did. Justin got home and sent me on my way to ladies night! I only called home about 4 or 5 times, the baby was fine and so were Justin and Bethany. I didn't have a meltdown and I actually had a really great time. Tupperware is not the most thrilling subject matter but the stuff is really kind of cool. Bronwin ran over some of it with her car (and the woman has an enormous car!) and it didn't break! I ordered the keep your fruits and veggies fresh system, and I am going to host a party once we are settled in the new house. Of course at the Gardner's there is always tasty food and delish wine, so I had a great first night out....even if it was technically a night in at our friends' house. I am looking forward to our friends wedding on Oct 1...that will be the true test as it is our first overnight stay away from the baby, my parents are flying out to hang with the girls so Justin and I can have a couple of days for ourselves and to celebrate with the Boker's, and that wedding is in Ohio!

Mom's Playdate!

I have to say that ever since some friends of ours moved out to VA and started having babies and having a mom's group, the idea of play dates and other mom friends has been a dream of mine. When I was working I had other friends at work who were moms but when I got home it was dinner, bath, and bed. So now that I am staying home I have had more opportunity to meet other moms and have those play dates! When I was thinking of play dates, I wanted to make sure that the other moms were in the same frame of mind as me....meaning I didn't want to be a part of a catty moms group. I want to make sure that they are the type of friends that will support my mothering, my marriage, and that are 'for me friends'. Thankfully I have been able to meet some great friends through our church, and the play dates have begun!

I just got home from the first big play date with both kids. I had so much fun, and so did Bethany...Madison did too(I guess, she just hung out on my hip).

I am so excited about what the Lord is doing in my life right now, and I am so happy to have the opportunity to just be a mom. In our society a lot of people see being a stay at home mom as being 'just a mom'. When did that start and why is it a stigma? I understand that with the economy most families need 2 incomes, and that women fought for equality in the work place and all of that stuff....BUT

I am loving learning about being a mother and a housewife. I am having fun teaching the kids things, and doing 'mom school' with Bethany so she can keep up with her school during the summer. I am loving getting to see Madison grow and change every day.I am loving being able to make our schedule for each day, and knowing what and who they're exposed to! I am loving learning to cook all kinds of meals and learning to make other stuff without a box!! I even tried my hand at canning this weekend with homemade black berry jam, and it is delish!

I am in no way saying that being a stay at home mom is the best thing for every family, and I know how hard it is to be a working mom because I've been there! It is incredibly hard to get all of the things that need done at home while maintaining a full time job. Not everyone is cut out for staying home, and I actually used to consider myself in that category....I was short on patience most of the time, and felt that not working would be a waste of my college degree. What I found was that when I was not exhausted from working at Enterprise all day, I am a much more fun mom, and I have way more patience!

I think that if you are able to and you think you would enjoy staying home, jump in with both feet. I am the type of person who wants to be the best and to succeed, and I want to do everything I can to be the best mom and wife I can. Plus it keeps my mind busy to learn new things and to have other mom friends to learn from and share experiences with! So there you have it, I am staying home and loving it. I am learning how to cook and bake and be a little crunchy granola and while I am by no means making everything from scratch it is fun to try my hand at things and see how it turns out. And yes....some of you will be recieving home made jam for Christmas!

A Poem By Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven."

...when I say... "I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

when I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.

when I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

when I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far to visible
but, God believes I am worth it.

when I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I will call upon His name.

when I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.


I read this poem for the first time a few years ago, and it is simply perfect!

Medical Bills make me NUTS!

I am sitting here in a pile, and I do mean pile of medical bills. We have amazing insurance and I am so thankful for that, because there is no way I could aford to pay for all of these things without it, even with it we owe a considerable amount of money!

Why on earth is it so expensive to seek medical treatment for yourself and your children? Why are doctors SO fond of their time? She didn't need surgery or anything invasive, just some tests run and IV antibiotics. And we are talking THOUSANDS of dollars. No wonder people in this country are struggling financially, especailly if they don't have insurance. Ah! Okay just had to rant...now where is my piggy bank??